About Me: Absolutely misery! I am forced to run this cursed summer camp for demigods when all I want to do is have parties. I tell you, it’s simply unfair. My father’s punishments are much too harsh.

Who I’d Like to Meet: A good sommelier, Carlo Rossi, Jack Daniels.

Interests: Wine, wine, and... wine.

Music: Barry Manilow, Burt Bacharach

Film: A Good Year, Animal House

TV: Jacques Pepin Celebrates (lovely cooking show, and all the recipes are served with wine!)

Books: An Illustrated History of Wine (even though my picture is not included)

Heroes: the red grape; the green grape; the pinot noir grape

Status: married to Ariadne (with occasional relationships on the side, but really, those are nothing)

Hometown: Mount Nysa, where the satyrs raised me as a boy. Ah, those were good times.

Favorite Drink: uh... DUH!

Body Type: perhaps I’ve gotten a bit soft around the middle, but it’s only because I have to eat more to compensate for the fact that my father won’t let me drink while I run this accursed camp!

Occupation: God of Wine (and director of Camp Half-Blood, grr!)

Education: I taught myself everything I know. That’s why I’m so smart.